Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Black-and-white issues

Photo by Charles Rondeau

Apparently, yesterday's post about the TIME magazine cover struck a cord with many of you. But I thought I should post a short follow-up, in case some of you are confused about my position.

You see, I have really strong opinions about what I think is best for babies. No, really?? Yes, really. And I tend to share those opinions, and back them up with the facts I find. But that doesn't mean I think less of you if you don't agree with me. No one's going to agree 100% with another human being. It just doesn't work that way. 

Remember that the next time you see a mom putting a disposable diaper on her child. Or a mom out in public nursing her toddler. Or a mom losing her cool when her child has pushed one too many of her buttons. Maybe that mom just needs someone to extend kindness.  

It's so easy for us to jump to conclusions ... to form opinions ... to judge. I'm as guilty of this as you are.

I believe a mother should breastfeed her baby if it is at all possible. I'm not sure I agree with breastfeeding kids in preschool. My thoughts are ... a pump and a cup. But that's just my opinion. And that is exactly what it is ... an opinion. While it is factual that breast milk is best for a baby, formula-feeding does not equal bad parenting.

I believe babies should be in cloth diapers ... for their health, if nothing else. Bottom line is that disposable diapers pose all sorts of health risks for kids. If you can protect your kids from that, why wouldn't you? While it is factual that cloth diapers are best for baby, throw-away diapering does not equal bad parenting.

Those are my black-and-white issues, among a few others. But many of the issues are gray for me, so I won't comment. I just wanted to clear up any confusion following yesterday's post for those of you who know I'm a strong breastfeeding/cloth diapering proponent. My position hasn't changed ... but perhaps my attitude has ... just a bit.

What about you? What are your black-and-white issues? 


  1. My black and white issues are car seat saftey. A chest clip needs to be placed at chest level. The straps need to be tight enough. Rear facing is 5x safer than forward facing. Expired seats should be disposed of. I don't see the gray in these issues. :(

    1. Somehow, I knew you would chime in with this! Thanks for helping to keep moms informed!

  2. For me a black and white issue is parental connectedness... The whole purpose of being a parent is teaching this little person the right way to behave and act. The only way our kids will learn that is by us, the parents, modelling proper attitudes and behaviour for them. If we are not connected to our kids in a real, tangible way (with our time, proximity, words, emotions, etc.) our kids will not learn their true value and they will not learn our values that we want to instill in them. I see too many parents who love on their babies when they're little and then turn into yelling and/or disconnected authoritarians when the kids are old enough sass back (which directly corresponds with the time when they're old enough to reason and ask questions.)

    Parents *have* to be connected to their kids. Otherwise they're just not being parents.

  3. I have several black and white issues, I believe the best ways for me to state them are as "I believe..." statements.

    I believe in life beginning at the moment of conception and treating that life with the uttermost love, respect, and dignity that every human being deserves. Therefore, I am pro-life and do not believe in abortion for any reason at all.

    I believe that we are to instruct, train, love, accept, and model good manners for our children. For if we do just 2 or 3 of the above but not all of the above, then how are we to expect our children to make a difference in their world and lifetime.

    I believe that no child is too young to learn the importance of God and His' teachings from Scripture. From the moment my children are born and during their pregnancies, I sing, pray, and read devotions to my children.

    I believe as a parent, I am exactly that a parent and not my child's best friend. I am here to ensure they have God's knowledge and know what is right from wrong. I am here to instruct them that their actions have consequences.

    I believe that I am responsible for ensuring my children's safety and well being. The includes responsible care, car seat safety, child play safety, and age appropriate chores with supervision when required.

    These statements could go on but these are just a few that are very important to me.

  4. Thank you for sharing what's important to you, Jenn. I love this statement: "I believe as a parent, I am exactly that -- a parent -- and not my child's best friend." Amen and amen!


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