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| The invitation to rest is right there ... I'm just missing it. |
I have a confession to make -- ever since my husband retired in early May, my Sabbath Experience has been hit or miss. I was thinking about this yesterday and I think I know why.
Prior to Bill's retirement, I looked forward to spending one day a week with him where I didn't check emails, I didn't blog, I didn't work. It was lovely. It greatly improved our marriage.
However, in the weeks following his retirement, I discovered a non-need for that. After all, we're together 24/7. Sundays are no longer our sanctuary from the busyness of the rest of the week. The days have all melted into one big blob of sameness. Sure, we still set aside Sundays to go to church and out to eat with the kids. But then we come home and look at each other, not knowing what to do next. Sometimes we nap. We make dinner. We might play a game or watch a movie. But in between all of that, I've eased myself back into doing a little bit of work here and there. I check emails. I answer clients' questions. I bid on jobs.
The other reason I think this is happening is because there are "Bill-breaks" all week long now. In the past, when he was working, I focused on my work throughout the day, and often into the evening. Now, I take a break to have breakfast or lunch with him. We sit and chat about household projects. We go outside to discuss how we're going to do this or that. We start laundry. We run errands. Chunks of my days, which used to belong to me alone, now involve him. Sundays are no longer special.
This is my personal struggle right now. If anyone has any suggestions, please share them with me. I'm missing the way things were. I'm missing the blessings of my Sabbath Experience.
Sharing my failure with you,
Hana
