“Friendship is unnecessary, like
philosophy, like art…
It has no survival value; rather it is
one of those things that give value to survival.”
-- C.S. Lewis
As I sit in the dining room
of my best friend Dawn's home, I am thinking about the value of a friendship
that has withstood the test of time -- the test of new friends coming and
going, of divorce, widowhood, single motherhood, getting back in the dating
game, remarriage, step-children, new careers. The list could go on and on. For
50 years, Dawn and I have been there for each other.
As I listen to
the birds flocking to Dawn's menagerie of bird feeders outside, the grandfather
clock in the living room chimes, a lovely reminder of the love her grandpa had
for her grandma as he crafted it for her as a wedding gift oh so many years
ago. A Van Gogh print hangs on the wall behind me and simple, but elegant
furnishings surround me.
I've been here since
Friday. Today, Dawn and her husband rose early and headed to work. I am alone.
This house has become a
haven for me during this time of transition as I've been forced to face the
rest of my life without my mother. Since Mom's death in January, I've made
multiple trips to my hometown of Manheim, Pennsylvania to tend to the multitude
of things one must deal with when their parents are gone but the family home is
not. My sisters, niece, nephew and my own kids live in Los Angeles, Las Vegas,
NYC, Binghamton, Washington (PA), and Pittsburgh. No one lives here. So when we
merge on our childhood home for time together (of work, laughter, memories, and
tears), there isn't enough room for all of us to sleep in the three-bedroom
house where we grew up.
That's why, while they're
all dealing with a chaotic morning of the little ones' energy spurts (they're
four, three, and two) and the baby's demands (and five-week-old Marley has been
quite demanding), I am spending the early part of my day in the peaceful
oasis Dawn calls 'home.' I don't want to leave.
As I made my tea this
morning, I watched out the window as a family of bluebirds took turns visiting
the feeder filled with meal worms. Happiness? Yep.
Perhaps, as C.S. Lewis
said, friendship isn't necessary. But I sure wouldn't want to try to survive
without it.
Sharing my Monday morning
thoughts with you,
Hana
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