A vessel of kindness

Photo by Jani Ravas

Kindness. It goes a long way.

Today, as I sit at a local coffee shop, I smile as I observe the kindness people extend to strangers. Rushing to open a door for someone on crutches; complimenting someone on a brightly colored outfit; helping a mom struggling to carry a baby and a high chair. Random acts of kindness. It's not just a catch phrase. For some, it's a way of life.

Someone did something extraordinarily kind for me this past weekend. It was anonymous, so I cannot thank him/her, but it touched me deeply. And the thing is, we all have the power to change someone's day/week/month/year/LIFE. Sometimes it is through simple things, and other times it's a bigger deal. Sometimes it is with our words, and other times with our finances. 

However you approach the act of showing kindness, I encourage you to do more. We live in a world where people need both big and small gifts to help them along the journey. Be a vessel of change, one act of kindness at a time.

MyPerfectGift.com Father's Day Event

We've been focusing a lot on moms lately, so I thought it would be a good change of pace to give dads some attention. And what better way than to sponsor a giveaway?

 

Do you know what Dad wants for Father's Day?

MyPerfectGift.com lets you buy the gift your loved ones really want.

Have him create a FREE MyPerfectGift.com registry and you will know exactly what to get him!

When you create a registry with at least 3 gifts or add to an existing registry, Dad will be eligible to win the Coleman Road Trip Collapsible Grill LXE*!! {sign-up with one click using your Facebook info} ~ When you sign up please use the letters “MPM” in the “Referred By” box.

 

This fantastic giveaway was organized by: Mom Powered Media and hosted by: Baby Costcutters, Mom to Bed By 8, Powered by Mom, Giveaway Booster, and Filipino Pork Recipes

Giveaway ends June 14th at 11:59pm and is open to US residents, ages 18+. To enter please use the Rafflecopter form below. Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

*Sponsor may substitute a similar item if prize item is not available

Disclosure: To be eligible to win this giveaway you must create an account and add at least three items in your registry. If you already have a MyPerfectGift registry just add a gift to your existing registry to be eligible for this giveaway. I received no compensation for this publication. My opinions are my own and may differ from those of your own. Green Grandma is not responsible for sponsor prize shipment. This event was organized by MomPoweredMedia Please contact tina@babycostcutters.com with questions or to see your business or blog featured on the next big event!

Supermom! How I birthed my baby -- Part 7

Today, in Part 7 of our birth stories series, Breanna Lien shares her tale of a birth plan gone awry. Follow Breanna on her blog, Bree, Babes and Beauty. 

I should begin by sharing the birth plan I had for as long as I can remember which was to have a midwife and all water births. I understood that when the time came I may not want to be in water for the entire process but I definitely wanted the option. My mom had both hospital and home births. Her favorite were her two water births and I wanted the same wonderful experience. I chose a midwife and a birth center and was convinced this first birth, though difficult, would be amazing. We studied, we had a plan and we were confident.

My mom was in town to help Kenny and I through our first time, which was a comfort, especially since I considered her a pro. I was so ready to have our baby and was not nervous about giving birth; rather incurring unforeseen medical expenses. I had an appointment the Wednesday after my due date (Sunday) and my mom was able to come to her first prenatal appointment as well as see the birth center and meet my midwives. I was dilated to 2cm and had been for a few weeks. I scheduled an appointment at the hospital for the following Monday (41weeks) to do a fetal stress test to ensure it was okay to continue waiting on baby. On the drive home I cried to my mom and everything I was feeling came to the surface. I absolutely wanted to meet my baby, but I didn't want to be induced. I knew my baby was fine and was upset because we could not afford another bill for a test or a hospital birth since we had to pay that out-of-pocket in conjunction with the birth center fee. I cried and cried. I wanted to be able to do this naturally. I wanted financial peace. I wanted the birth I always dreamed of and I wanted to have a beautiful experience I could be proud of. I worried if I acted irrationally during labor it would make me less of a woman. I wanted to be strong.

My mom comforted me in that moment. She shared her wisdom that your birth is your special birth and experience no matter how it happens. She told me I would do great. Every woman is different and that is okay. She told me even if I had to have my baby in the hospital it would be okay. Even if we had a huge bill, somehow it would be alright. No matter what, we would have our baby and all would be beautiful. God would take care of it all. She told me there is no wrong way, which helped me feel empowered and at peace with whatever was going to happen.

I never made it to that appointment. Friday night, after a couple days of early labor and a couple visits to the birth center my labor began. I had only slept four hours since Wednesday night, with my consistent early contractions keep me up but bringing on baby. At the birth center my husband, Kenny, and I tried to get some sleep before the big event. I let him and everyone sleep while I just let the contractions come in the large beautiful tub. Eventually I woke my husband and they called the nurse around 2 a.m. Finally the real thing was happening! Kenny stayed with me and during the time I spent in water, he lovingly told me, "You were made to give birth this way. You are so relaxed in there. You are doing great!" I was exhausted but felt empowered to do this.

A few hours later, I was in the tub and started thinking, “Okay, I think I’m done now. I can’t do this anymore.” I quietly told Kenny what I was thinking and with each contraction he told me, “You can do this.” I repeated back to him, “I can do this,” as the contractions came and I breathed through them.

At about 6 a.m., my midwife planned to take a nap to rest up for the big event. She asked if I wanted her to check me to see how far I had progressed before she went into the other room. My first answer was no, as I was certain I was only going to be dilated to 5cm and would be discouraged. Then I remembered how a little while before I had been feeling like I needed to quit. What if that was transition? I had her check me. Sure enough, I was dilated to 8. I was in transition. Just then my water broke. I had a renewed energy in that moment. I smiled when Kenny came back in the room after a quick rest and snack as I proudly told him my water broke. I started breathing her  down (though I didn’t know she was a ‘her’ yet) and intently working with my midwives. At around 8 a.m., I started pushing. I don’t remember much about the next six hours. Honestly, I don’t know how it lasted six hours. At 10 a.m., they saw the head and again there was renewed energy! Here comes my baby, I thought.

I should point out I always thought women were a bit dramatic when it came to labor. I still truly believe you can have a peaceful experience and that birth is beautiful. I would get so mad watching shows and movies where birth was a screaming, chaotic mess. I felt it scared women and I still feel that way somewhat, even though the last few hours of my experience put those movies to shame. At around noon I was sitting on a birth stool still trying to get this baby to crown with no luck. A nurse asked if I wanted to feel baby’s head and all I could feel was a soft spot the size of a nickel as I happened to look at the clock. It read a little after 12 p.m. In that moment, I lost it. I felt betrayed and lied to. These people had been telling me my baby was almost here for over four hours and she was nowhere close! I frantically told Kenny they were lying and didn’t know how I could keep going. He kept smiling at me, holding me and telling me I could. I was made for this. What I didn’t know was that he was silently looking to my mom that entire time to keep him encouraged so he wouldn’t lose it in front of me. This was the hardest thing he has done, too; just in a different way.

The next two hours passed quickly in my memory, but wore on forever in the moment. They were checking baby’s heart rate with every push. I knew that pushing too long could cause the heart rate to drop but I wanted to have her naturally so I would push as long as possible then take a huge breath before pushing again. When the contraction subsided I would take deep breaths too. Her heart rate stayed perfectly normal but my contractions started slowing. I had no idea anything could be wrong. At 1:30, my midwife informed me she was going to give me 30 minutes. I would have to give it my all and if we didn’t make significant progress we were going to have to go to the hospital where, depending on the OB's assessment, they would have to use the vacuum or perform a cesarean section. I was shocked, but I so trusted this woman with 30 years of experience and I knew she just wanted us to be safe. I gave it my all. I screamed and pushed with all my might, but we made absolutely no progress. I couldn’t get dressed, so they got me into a gown. Hair wet from the tub, barefoot, crying and pushing, we drove to the hospital. The car ride was agonizing but all I could hope for was to get there and have my baby. I was exhausted and hungry. I had barely been able to eat and hadn’t slept in over two days by this point. It didn’t matter anymore how I gave birth to her. I just wanted my baby in my arms.

My OB was amazing. She moved quickly as she explained everything that happened. At one look, she informed me I would need a c-section. She gently, but seriously, told me I need to try to stop pushing. All I really remember was a feeling of fear and desperation. I would do whatever was necessary at this point. I had done all my body could manage and then some.

When the anesthesia kicked in, I was so relieved I had to try really hard not to cry. Almost immediately, I was close to being myself again, chatting with the anesthesiologist as I waited for Kenny to get there. The doctor told me he was amazed I wasn’t asleep with everything I had been through. Kenny came in with tears in his eyes telling me how much he loved me and how proud he was. I made him save that talk for later because I didn’t want to cry during surgery while unable to feel what my body was doing so he just held my hand and stroked my hair. 

My midwife had told me it would feel uncomfortable when they pulled her out but I didn’t feel a thing. I looked up and realized the drape shielding my view was violently shaking and knew they must be getting her out. I heard the OB say, “Oh wow! This baby was never coming out any other way but this way.” It was 3:40 p.m., and I heard her cry for the first time. Kenny stood to see our baby. As he looked at me, tears started running down his face and he announced, “We have a girl. A beautiful baby girl.” I wanted to hold her but was unable to as they put me back together and cleaned her up.

Kenny walked over to where they were taking her measurements and swaddling her. We had decided on two names for both a boy and a girl but were waiting until we saw our child before choosing his or her name. It could be anyone in there and we wanted to pair the right name with the right person. I asked Kenny as he looked at her, “Who is she?” He turned with tears still in his eyes and said, “It’s Amelia. Amelia Rose.” Once she was all bundled up they gave her to Kenny and she didn’t leave his arms until I was in recovery and we were able to do skin to skin. It was there she latched for the first time to nurse and we were able to go to our room.

This was the birth I had never wanted, but this was the little girl I had always dreamed of. Recovering from a c-section is extremely difficult and I had never realized that. We had many tears and many struggles to get us to where we are. I had support from my family, husband and the staff at the hospital I never could have dreamed of. The nurses were amazing, the doctors equally amazing, the lactation consultants were everything I could have asked for, and they even had someone who was able to help us with requesting financial aid.

Days of early labor, 18 plus hours of real labor, 6 hours of pushing, an unplanned c-section, baby with a tongue tie and jaundice, a 5 day hospital stay and a bill we were never going to be able to pay off… but an unforgettable experience we were absolutely blessed by.

 A few months after the birth, we discovered the bill was completely taken care of and all we were responsible for was the OB and anesthesiologist. I was stunned. We have been exclusively breastfeeding for over 5 months now. Our little girl who was jaundiced with a tongue tie has had the tongue tie corrected and is now in the 90 something percentile for weight. Amelia (Millie as we call her now) is an amazing, thriving little girl. She is so bonded to her Daddy and I believe that is due to the c-section. Kenny was the one who soothed her, changed her, calmed her and held her when I wasn’t nursing. She had a bond with him from days old that even the pediatrician commented on as being something special and unusual for her age.

C-sections are never ideal in my opinion. Regardless, we were blessed through this one. I found out later she was stuck because her head was coming out wrong and she was too large for my body in the position she was in. No, it did not go anything like I planned but what I had to realize was if I had waited another day we both would have died. It was a long difficult recovery and for a while I doubted myself for not being able to do it the “right” way. That doubt was quite simply a lie. I was no less of a woman for needing a c-section and I’m so grateful I was surrounded by people who loved me enough to reassure me of that truth. Through this experience I have gained a wonderful breastfeeding relationship with my baby girl, my husband and I have grown immensely, both as individuals and as a couple, and now I can better encourage others who have had to stray from their original birth plan. There is no wrong way. There is only the way a child is born. No matter the means, birth is beautiful and something to be so very proud of.

Taking care of me... part of the Natural Living Blog Carnival

Welcome to the May 2013 Natural Living Blog Carnival: Taking Time for Mom. This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Natural Living Blog Carnival hosted by Happy Mothering and The Pistachio Project through the Green Moms Network. Oftentimes, Moms are so busy taking care of their families that they forget to take care of themselves. This month our carnival participants have written posts about what they do just for themselves.

 

Photo by Peter Griffin

Empowered by a hot bath, a journal, and a vase of fresh flowers

My days as a mom with young kids are long gone. While many of you struggle to fit in some 'me' time, I thought I'd share some things I did to help me stay connected to myself during those challenging years of raising children.

Ever since I was a child, nothing soothed me better than a hot bath. As I grew up, whenever my mind, body or spirit was hurting, I took refuge in a tub of hot water. Back when the girls were young, my late husband would come home, take one look at the frazzled expression on my face and say, "Why don't you go take a bath. I'll take over." Rarely would I argue with him. And with his servant's heart, he would not only take care of the kids, but he'd deliver a freshly brewed cup of hot tea to me as I soaked. Ahhh.

Perhaps running full tubs of water is not the greenest option, particularly for those of you who live in areas where drought is an issue. However, living in an area with three rivers, we are not in danger of a water shortage here in Pittsburgh. For me, this is an inexpensive 'me' luxury.

The other thing I did, which cost next to nothing, during my child raising years, was write in journals. Journaling kept me connected to me. This was back in the days before there was a computer in every home and there was no such thing as social media. In order for me to be social, I had to pack up the kids to go somewhere, or spend lots of money on phone bills (which I did). There were no cell phones with unlimited plans. If I called someone, it cost me. I didn't have any family here in Pittsburgh and even my best friends' were all toll calls. Anyway, journaling was something I could do for me. It had nothing to do with anyone else.

Arranging flowers was something I did to connect to my creative side. I loved having fresh flowers in the house, even if they were just wildflowers or blooms from my yard. We had ten lilac bushes and in early May, the house was filled with them. I'd vase them and put them in every room. Bringing outdoor beauty indoors was something I learned from my own mother, who had a knack for natural decorating that I inherited somewhere along the way.

She also enjoyed rearranging furniture, and I found that to be a way to relieve tension, refresh a tired room, and tinker with the designer in me with zero cost to my husband (who was the only one bringing home a paycheck).

These were the things I did for me. I always found time for me, because I knew it was a necessity for the emotional health of my family. Looking back, I have no regrets about too much time spent soaking in the tub or writing in my journal. And the kids joined in when it came time to arrange flowers or rearrange furniture. They just didn't know they were taking part in 'mommy time.'

What about you? Have you carved out that special niche or two that says, "Hey, I'm important, too"?

Visit Happy Mothering and The Pistachio Project to learn more about participating in next month’s Natural Living Blog Carnival! Please take some time to enjoy the posts our other carnival participants have contributed:

 

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Pamper Mom with Natural Products Giveaway

A common theme here on Green Grandma lately has revolved around moms; in particular, my mom. Moms work hard. Very hard. My mom was no exception. After my dad had two massive heart attacks when Mom was only 37, she gave up her role as a stay-at-home mom (a role she loved, by the way), and she headed back into the work force, determined to be able to provide for her three daughters in the case that the doctors were right and Dad would have five years, at the most, left to live. They were wrong, by the way, and he lasted through 11 more heart attacks until his 14th one killed him 18 years later. 

Anyway, Mom worked hard. I was the youngest and learned by watching her, that it is important for moms to take care of themselves. Mom loved to arrange fresh flowers and she enjoyed long soaks in the tub. Most of all, however, she was a voracious reader. As she aged, she still arranged flowers from time to time, but she gave up her baths, as it was too difficult for her to get in and out of the tub. But she kept reading. And reading. And reading. That's how she pampered herself... she pampered her mind. And that kept her young and vibrant, even when her body started to fail her.

Thanks to the good folks at Hyland's, I have an awesome giveaway for the Pinterest fans in the community who want to pamper themselves, too! But this prize package doesn't involve reading. It's a pampering prize package that is simply fantastic, even without the books! Here's what you could win:

Ecobags -- Valued at nearly $50

• 2 natural cotton String Bags -- Reminiscent of rope hammocks, these fair wage, fair labor bags are as fashionable as they are durable.
• 2 Produce Bag sets -- Ditch the plastic and carry your own machine-washable natural cotton bags perfectly suited for loose produce at the grocery store or farmers' market. It's the smart way to shop.
• 1 Organic Cotton Net Bag -- Machine-washable, roomy and perfect for toting fruits and vegetables or stashing in your suitcase for personal items.
• 1 Organic Cotton Bulk Bag -- Lightweight and durable for buying seeds, nuts, grains, beans, etc. in the bulk aisle. 10" W x 12" H

 

Better Life -- Housewarming Kit -- Valued at $52

• What-EVER! Clary Sage & Citrus -- All natural cleaner that requires no rinsing! That means less work!
• Simply Floored! -- With a natural citrus and minty scent, this floor cleaner requires no mixing and no rinsing. It's ready to get to work on your dirty floors. Are you?
• I can See Clearly, WOW! -- Streak free, film free, this cleaner is perfect for glass, windows, mirrors, plexiglass, auto glass, tinted windows, light fixtures, chrome, and acrylic.
• Even the Kitchen Sink -- This cleaning scrubber is all natural and is great for scratch-free cleaning of tubs, tile and grout, toilet bowls, shower doors, ceramic, stovetops, glass cooktops , stainless steel sinks, porcelain, enamel, stone, cultured marble, non-polished solid countertops, & laminate.
• Oak-Y Dokey -- Clean, polish and protect with this natural wood cleaner that leaves behind a gentle scent of cinnamon and lavender. Ahh.
• Dish it Out Clary Sage & Citrus -- Sulfate-free and pH balanced, this natural dish soap works on even your toughest, greasiest dishes, pots and pans.
• Plus a 6-compartment cleaning caddy, glass and polishing microfiber, general purpose microfiber and a loofah sponge

 
 

 ZENTS -- Spring Gift Set -- Valued at $46

• Shea Butter Hand & Body Cream 6 fl. oz.
• Shea Butter Liquid Lather 8.5 fl. oz.

100% organic shea butter. Winners can choose from Petal, Ore or Sun scents to suit their own exquisite taste.

Coola Organic Suncare -- Valued at $92.

• Unscented Spray -- Nourish, repair and hydrate your skin with 70-97% certified organic ingredients in this spray.
• Rose Essence Tint -- Perfect for protecting your face. This facial sunscreen is hypoallergenic, anti-aging, water resistant, and free of parabens and nano-sized particles.
• Lipluxe -- Soothe and nourish your lips with this vitamin and antioxidant-enriched formula.
• Lotion Bar-- This solid hand lotion bar is perfect for travel... no spills!

21Drops -- The Weekender Gift Set -- Valued at $75

• Three unique blends -- #06 Passion, #18 Sleep, and #04 Hangover. Sounds like the perfect solution for a romantic and fun weekend!

Hyland's -- Valued at nearly $50

• Calms Forte 32 Count -- A natural stress reliever to help you relax and get a good night's sleep.
• Nerve Tonic 32 Count -- A combination of biochemic phosphates to help your body handle the stress of everyday life and spend your days with lots of Ahhhhs.
• Bioplasma Sport -- The solution for on-the-go relief of pain and fatigue.
• Muscle Therapy Gel with Arnica -- Non-greasy gel to provide topical relief when your muscles let you know you've overdone it again!
• Arnica Spray 4 oz. -- Known for its healing power of bruises and muscle soreness, Arnica Montana extract in a spray helps speed relief without having to touch those sensitive sore spots.

Okay, now that you know what you can win, here are the details on how you can win this fabulous... let me repeat that... FABULOUS prize package:

1. Open up your Pinterest account and follow all the participating companies. Click the links below to go directly to their Pinterest pages:

ECOBAGS

Better Life

ZENTS

Coola Organic Suncare

21Drops

Hyland's

 

 2. Create a board called 'Pamper Mom with Natural Products' on your Pinterest page.

3. Pin (or repin) photos of your favorite products from Hyland's ZENTS, Coola, 21Drops, ECOBAGS, and/or Better Life. Pins can be original photos of products offered by the participating companies or repins from any of the Pinterest boards of the participating companies.

4. Fill out the short form on Hyland's Facebook with a link to your 'Pamper Mom with Natural Products' board.

Three winners with the most creative boards will each receive the above fabulous prize package worth more than $350 from the participating companies. Winners will be chosen by juried review based on their creativity.

Now get busy... and Good Luck!

Schwinn Windwood Women's Cruiser Bike Giveaway

Sponsored by: Mom Blog Society | She Informed | My Dairy Free Gluten Free Life | Frantic Mommy Co-Hosted by: Jackie's Reviews | Geeky Gamer Mom | Swank Savings 

If you read my post on April 8th, you'll know how much riding bikes was a part of my childhood in Manheim, Pennsylvania. I cannot imagine growing up without my trusty Schwinn. Mine was a blue 3-speed and I loved my bike. That's why I'm delighted to offer you the chance to win a Schwinn of your own. This one's for you, ladies... not for your kiddos! It's sleek. It's pink. And it's up for grabs!!

The classic Schwinn Windwood women's 26-Inch cruiser evokes the simple style and grace of traditional bicycles, making it a great choice for cruising to the store, the beach, or around town. Designed for easy, relaxed riding, the Windwood boasts a sturdy steel frame with a low stand-over height, making it easy to get on and off the bike. The rustproof 26-hole alloy rims and rear coaster brakes, meanwhile, allow you to stop on a dime. And riders will love the classic chrome fenders and rear storage rack. 

Other details include a comfortable wide-spring saddle, a single-speed design, pneumatic tires, and curved back handlebars. 

About Schwinn 

Founded in 1895, Schwinn is an American icon that's long been synonymous with quality and innovation. The company has built some of the best-known and best-loved bikes of multiple generations, including the Aerocycle, Paramount, Phantom, Varsity, Sting-Ray, Krate, and Homegrown. 

Today, Schwinn continues to innovate with such releases as the redesigned Sting-Ray, Rocket mountain bikes, and Fastback road bikes. With a continued dedication to quality forever synonymous with the Schwinn name, America's most famous bicycle brand looks forward to providing another century of innovation, freedom, and performance to people of all ages. 

Giveaway runs from 5/15 through 5/30 12:59 p.m. Open to USA only.

a Rafflecopter giveaway