Are you raising charitable kids?

Below is a part of an article I wrote that appeared this month in the Las Vegas ZIPCODE magazine.

Giving Hearts

Raising Charitable Kids

By Hana Haatainen-Caye

It's that time of year when television commercials are screaming for your kids' attention. In turn, your children scream back -- at you -- to buy them every hot toy and accessory on some imaginary Christmas must-have list. What's a parent to do?

It's hard to turn your back on the cries of a child in such desperate "need." Smart advertisers work hard to convince them that life is barely worth living if they don't add this or that to their growing collection of things. As a parent, it's your job to override the wrong messages programmed into your children's brains and reprogram them to listen to their hearts instead; hearts that connect with giving rather than always getting.

The holiday season is the perfect time to start redirecting your children's focus toward charity. If done correctly, you will undoubtedly reshape their hears. Before long, it will be second nature for them to spot a need and want to fill it.

Talk the Talk

Children are innately curious beings. They want to know the hows and whys. Just telling them to do something "because it's the right thing to do" won't accomplish the transformation of their hearts. When taught to obey "because I told you so," kids may well perform as instructed, but that's not the kind of robotic obedience you're looking for, especially when it comes to teaching your children to give.

Six-year-old Laura badly wanted a stuffed rabbit she saw in a store. When her grandma wouldn't let her have it, she sulked. After they left the toy store, they passed a Salvation Army Red Kettle Bell Ringer. Laura asked what the man was doing. Her mother explained, "He's collecting money for people who don't have enough to buy food or toys for Christmas. There are some families who just can't afford to make Christmas special. But when others put money in the kettle, The Salvation Army can buy things for those families so they'll have a good Christmas after all."

Laura thought for a moment and then reached into her pocket and pulled out the five-dollar bill she was going to use to buy something for herself. Walking over to the man ringing the bell, she handed it to him and smiled. Her step was lighter as she skipped back to her mother, and the lesson stayed with her as she continued to give to others in need in the years to follow. All it took was an explanation.

Walk the Walk

Naturally, children want to emulate their parents. If you tell them to be charitable without extending your own hand of giving, all the talking in the world is not going to change their hearts. They need to see you giving as well. That means you don't ignore the Red Kettle Bell Ringers every time you pass them. Make sure your kids see you cheerfully slip some bills or change into the kettles from time to time.

But remember that giving doesn't always require money. Consider volunteering at one of the many local organizations working to brighten the holidays for others. Perhaps you can become a Red Kettle Bell Ringer yourself and inspire your children to give of their time as well.

A Guiding Hand

As your children start to understand the value of giving, they need your guidance to know what they can do. From donating money to buying toys or food to volunteering, fostering this spirit of charity can be a family affair. 

The Salvation Army offers programs and services that change lives. All the donations raised by the Red Kettle Bell Ringers stay in your community. The Red Kettle campaign has been around since 1891 and 82 cents of every dollar raised goes directly to those in need.

A Change of Heart

While getting involved in a local or national organization is invaluable, sometimes the best way to serve others is right in your own neighborhood. Children need to learn that giving can happen anytime and anywhere. Delivering a plate of homemade cookies or a warm tureen of soup to elderly neighbors or taking a poinsettia to someone who was recently widowed can help brighten the holiday season for them. And your children will experience what their parents learned long ago -- that seeing someone's face light up with gratitude is thanks enough. Kids who learn the joy of giving when they're young will grow up to be generous and thoughtful adults who truly embrace a lifestyle where kindness matters. And they'll understand, deep in their hearts, it really is more blessed to give than to receive.

A spill, a generous heart, and a bat in the basement

A few things happened this week that are worthy of mention. I shared these things on Facebook, but since many of you miss my FB posts, I thought they were worthy of a blog post.


First, my 4 YO grandson, Lincoln, got two green thumbs up from me on Wednesday. He was in the kitchen and made a mess. Rather than calling for his mommy to clean it up, he opened a drawer and pulled out every kitchen towel and rag. Every one of them. And he gave cleaning up his best effort. Of course, his mommy had to help him out in the end, but Linc tried, which is important. That's not the main point of my green thumbs up, however. 

Can you figure out why I'm so proud of him?

He used cloth towels! While many children and adults alike reach for the roll of paper towels when there is a spill, my grandson opted for cloth. Go Linc!

Second, my 6 YO granddaughter, Laura, made me cry yesterday after her teacher pulled her daddy aside to talk to him about Laura. Uh oh. Well, it turns out that the lovely little Lady Laura has been taking money to school each day and distributing it into other kindergarteners' cubbies. When asked, she explained that she's been taking money out of her piggy bank and giving it, anonymously (or so she thought) to other children she perceived needed it more than she did. Oh.my.goodness. 

Third, I have to brag a bit about myself. Yesterday morning greeted me with a bat in the basement. Not a baseball bat. Nope. It was the flying kind. After phone calls and much consideration, I went down to the basement, followed by my husband, and I caught the bat! I cupped a plastic container (good to know there is something useful about them) over the bat and held it tightly against the wall. Then, and only then, did my husband get close enough to slip a cookie sheet between the bat and the wall, and we carried it outside and let it go. 

It didn't fly away as expected, however. It just remained splayed on the lawn, with its 10" wingspan spread, hissing and showing off its tiny fangs. It was not a happy camper. My husband was concerned that we'd hurt its wings and it couldn't fly, but I think it just didn't like being out on the cold ground with the sun shining brightly in its face. Finally, Bill took a long stick and poked at the little guy. That was all it took for him to take flight. We cringed when it headed for our neighbors' open garage, but then it boomeranged and headed back toward us. Of course, our garage door was open, too, and we feared for a repeat occurrence. Again, it turned before entering the garage and we watched as it flew out of sight. I hope the little guy found a nice dark corner somewhere, other than in someone else's house!

While some people may have opted for killing the bat, we just wanted to make sure we gave it a chance to live. Will it survive in the cold? I don't know. I thought they hibernated at this time of the year. But at least we did the most humane thing we could think of to do. 

And those are my stories to wrap up this week. Do you have any proud moments of your own to share? I'd love to hear them.