A Sabbath Experience long overdue

 My husband and I have been going through a rough patch since his retirement 2 1/2 months ago. A rough patch that actually led to a discussion about splitting up. After a brutally nasty argument late Saturday night/early Sunday morning, we finally sat down to talk around 8:30 last night. Thinking that the only way for either of us to be happy would be for us to go our separate ways, we agreed that this might be a good option. 

Then, after having said it, we came to our senses. Isn't it amazing how stupid ideas can fester in our minds until they are finally exposed to the air and spoken? The idea was ludicrous. And yet both of us have been thinking about it. Somewhere along the line, we disconnected. 

Both of us are incredibly unhappy right now. I'm longing for my hours alone that I've had nearly every weekday for countless years. He's longing to feel welcomed in his own home where he feels like an intruder. Ouch. 

I'm not sure what the solution is to our dilemma. What I am certain of is how much we love each other. Because of that love, and our commitment to each other, we will  work this out. Today, we're both feeling better than we have in a long time. Our Sabbath experience yesterday led to some healing, although we have a lot of work ahead of us. At least we were able to clear the air, and our minds, of some nasty stuff that was poisoning our relationship.

This is not an easy post to share. But maybe it will help some of you who may be struggling in your own marriages right now. I encourage you to be transparent. Don't allow the toxins of unspoken thoughts spread cancer through your relationship. I made that mistake and am so glad to discover I wasn't too late in starting the treatment that will lead to a cure.

My marriage is too important to me, and to my family, to allow anything to destroy it. Isn't yours?

Sharing my Sabbath experience and more,

Hana

The freedom of forgiveness

I had breakfast today with my new friend, Joyce, and we talked a bit about people needing to take responsibility for themselves. We live in a 'blame someone else' society and it frustrates me. Enough is enough, folks. Bad things happen to us as we're growing up. Sometimes there's abuse. Sometimes parents get divorced. Sometimes harsh words and criticisms are part of daily dinner conversations. Sometimes we're bullied. Sometimes we grow up without any security...always wondering when the other shoe is going to drop. Oftentimes, we learn that love is conditional and we spend our time doing instead of being.

If you had a rough time of it when you were growing up, I'm sorry. Children should be cherished and protected from pain. But the reality is they often are not.

Are you bitter? Are you being held back due to painful memories? Do you feel justified holding on to your anger? Too bad. There's not one thing you can do about what happened to you or your family years ago. The only thing you can do now is choose a different path.

Forgiveness, whether it's undeserved or not, brings freedom and peace. The late Dr. Richard Carlson wrote in his wonderful little book, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, "Is it more important to be right or to be happy?"

That's my challenge for you today. Get unstuck. Choose to let go of the pain, disappointment, anger, bitterness, and whatever else is eating you alive. Happiness is up to you.

"But I just can't," I hear you saying. Well, the first step is to be willing to let it go. The second step just might be to seek some professional help.

Years ago, when I found myself stuck in unforgiveness, I eventually came to the point where I prayed, "Please Lord, make me willing to forgive." That's all it took for me. As the days passed and I continued to pray, the willingness came, followed by the forgiveness.

Forgiveness sets us free! If you don't see the need to do it for yourself, please think about the effect your attitude is having on your family. Set them free, too! You're the only one with the power to do just that.

Keeping it emotionally healthy,

Hana