My car is DVD-free. What about yours?

Welcome to the September 2012 

Natural Living Blog Carnival: Kids in the Car  

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Natural Living Blog Carnival hosted by Happy Mothering and The Pistachio Project through the Green Moms Network. This month our members have written posts about kids in the car.

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Last month, while on vacation in Virginia, my husband and I were browsing through Goodwill. There was a television on in the back of the store and the movie Lion King was playing. A young girl (maybe 5 or so) was transfixed on the screen while her parents shopped. When it was time to leave, the girl put up a bit of a fuss, to which her dad responded to with a "We'll turn a movie on in the car. Let's go." She happily skipped out of the store. 

I was perturbed. Deeply. At what point in society did we come to the conclusion that children need to be entertained at all times? Even a simple drive to the store and home requires movie viewing. Really?

I, for one (and maybe the only one), do not believe in DVD players in vehicles. It appalls me that parents will pick their kids up from school, plop them in the back of the car and turn on a movie. And in some cases, turn on two different movies to suit the separate tastes of two children in the back seat! Whatever happened to talking to kids?! Does no one else see an issue with children needing to be entertained, even during short 10-minute or so car rides?! 

My husband and I drove to Virginia Beach with our 3-year-old granddaughter, Laura. It was an 11-hour trip and guess what... we didn't provide her with any electronic entertainment during the drive. But however did we keep her occupied? Well, let's see. 

We

• talked
• read books
• told stories
• sang songs
• played games

Was it tiresome for us at times? Of course. But we made some pretty sweet memories. 

Some of the best times I remember having with my own kids when they were young involved car rides. We had fun when we traveled, which we did fairly often, as we would drive 240 miles on the Pennsylvania turnpike to visit my mother on the other side of the state. 

If you are one of those parents who has fallen prey to this on-the-go technology, I urge you to reconsider. The time with your kids in the car is a precious opportunity to bond with them. If there is sibling bickering behind the front seat, don't simply assuage it by slipping in a DVD. That does not solve the problem, it exacerbates it. Yes, you may have a few minutes of peace, but at what cost? Kids need to learn to work things out, not just tune things out. And, I'm sorry, but if your kids can't even cooperate long enough to watch the same DVD, you have some serious problems, my friend.

I imagine by now I've stepped on quite a few toes. It's not my goal to make you uncomfortable. I just want you to think about what you are doing. Just because every other kid in daycare/at school/in your neighborhood has their own portable DVD player in the car/van/SUV doesn't mean your kids need one. Rise above the crowd and have fun with your kids on your drives! Here are some of the things we do with Laura as we drive. You can adjust the activities according to your children's ages.

• Look for rectangles, ovals, keystones (easy to find in Pennsylvania!) and other shapes
• Look for things that start with the different letters of the alphabet
• Tell stories by taking turns with each phrase. For example: Bill -- "Once upon a time, there was a rabbit and..." me -- "a spider, and they were arguing about who had nicer feet. The spider proudly showed off each foot, while the rabbit..." Laura -- "stomped his furry feet in the snow." Back to Bill to keep the story going. 
• We also play a rhyming game where one person says a word and the next person has to rhyme it and then they say a word for the the next person, and so on. Bill -- "Car." Me -- "Star. Night." Laura -- "Right. Mouse." Bill -- "House. Street..." Well, you get the idea.

Keep in mind, these are games with a toddler, and yes, at times we listen to child-appropriate CDs, like Sandra Boynton's enchanting Rhinoceros Tap. A little bit of whimsy goes a long way when there are seemingly endless hours spent in the car. We also sang endless choruses of "There was a farmer who had a dog and Bingo was his name-o." 

With older children, there are other games to play, like auto bingo and the Ungame. 

I know you must have some car activities of your own I haven't mentioned. Aside from watching movies on the go, what are some of your family's favorite travel activities? Do you find car time a pleasure or a curse?

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Visit Happy Mothering and The Pistachio Project to learn more about participating in next month’s Natural Living Blog Carnival! Please take some time to enjoy the posts our other carnival participants have contributed:

The Sabbath Experience -- week 42

As I typed 'week 42' in the title, I found myself amazed that this experiment has continued on for this long, morphing into an experience that I intend to follow through with for the rest of my life. Of course, I don't always expound on the Sabbath itself when I write these beginning-of-the-week posts. Often, I just give you a glimpse into my life.

Last night, I returned home from a lovely 3-day weekend break. I must admit, I'm struggling through those Monday morning, don't-want-to-be-at-work, blahs. The break just wasn't long enough. Do you ever feel that way? The temptation to check my emails and see what I would be facing workwise as I started the week was strong last night. But my commitment to stay true to my Sabbath Experiment prevented me from doing so. Instead, I relaxed with my husband and watched an episode of Season One of Beauty and the Beast.

Bill and I left on Friday morning with our lovely little granddaughter and headed east on the PA Turnpike to Manheim, Pennsylvania where we gathered at my mother's house with my two sisters (from Glendale, CA and Binghamton, NY) and my niece and her family (from NYC). Since I spend most of my days alone with my computer, I must admit at first I had trouble adjusting to the crowd, especially on Saturday morning. Time spent alone on my porch with my coffee and Bible, was replaced with time in a small, hot, crowded kitchen with lots of noise. I eventually adjusted, and by the time there were 13 of us in the house on Saturday night, I was enjoying the company.

Life's like that sometimes, isn't it? We ease into a routine that is comfortable and then, WHAM, something disrupts it and we're thrown a bit off balance. Often, it's by choice, and the disruption is temporary. Other times, we're thrown a situational curve ball that completely knocks us off base and we have to struggle to find a new balance. If you are going through that right now (because of a loss), my heart goes out to you. Please know that will come a time when your equilibrium is back in tune. Granted, it will be a different tune, but lovely, just the same.

When I became a grandmother, I earned bragging rights. I have an absolutely adorable grandson, Lincoln, who will be turning one next month. Unfortunately, he wasn't with us in Manheim over the weekend. But our 33-month-old little Laura was. And she was such a delight. We've traveled with her since she was quite young and enjoyed every trip. She has never complained, whined, or asked "Are we there yet?" on our trips. There is no DVD player to entertain her. Rather, there are songs and games from the start of the drive until the end, with a nap thrown in there along the way.

Some of my favorite memories with my girls when they were young emerged from time spent in the car. Those of you whose kids are caught up in videos or video games instead of conversation and fun as a family, are missing so much, in my opinion. What can you play with a 2-year-old? Well, we look for things that start with certain letters. Or we look for shapes.

"Look grandma! It's a rectangle!" Laura will shout as a large truck rolls by.

"A triangle," she exclaims as we pull off the road and she spots a yield sign. The stop sign is acknowledged with "A octagon!" (She doesn't know the difference between 'a' and 'an' yet.)

Since we were driving in Pennsylvania (the Keystone State), all our state highway signs have keystones on them. Laura now can identify a keystone.

Is that normal for a 2-year-old? Probably not. Is it because she's exceptionally bright? Probably not. Perhaps it is just she's been taught. Not by an educational television show, but by parents, an aunt and uncle, and grandparents who have instructed her from the time she was born. It's not hard to do.

While putting on her tiny little socks when she was a baby, we'd say, "This is your left foot," or "Give me your right foot." I can't tell you how long she's known her right and left now. While grocery shopping, I'd say, "I need 3 apples," and she'd help me count them as we put them in the cart. Browsing through the shoe racks at Goodwill, I picked up various sizes of shoes and Laura would tell me if they were too big or too small for her. And she got it right every time, even though she was only 27-months-old.

Children are so teachable. We just have to use the time we spend with them to work teaching into our regular routine. My daughter is teaching her The Lord's Prayer, and I was amazed, over the weekend, how much of it she knows already. And it's not just about words. It's about explaining the whys and the meanings behind the words. It's about encouraging reasoning. It's about doing it in love. When there is love behind the teaching, children will absorb the lessons like the little sponges they are. They want to learn.

Don't miss the opportunities, folks. Don't let cartoon characters or puppets replace the teachers you were meant to be. And, for goodness sake, lead by example.

Bill and I left Laura in Manheim with my mom and sisters yesterday and traveled back to Pittsburgh. While we can always find enough to talk about in the car, we still missed that little voice in the backseat saying, "Let's sing 'Tinkle, Tinkle Little Tar' again, Gamaw," or "Look, PapPap, a circle!"

While I know she's having a ball with her Great-Grandma Gene and Great-Aunts Carolyn and Tina, I have to admit I'm a little jealous. After all, they get to spend the next few days with my favorite little girl in the world, and I ... I get to get back into my routine.

Sharing my thoughts,

Hana

The Sabbath Experiment -- week 24

Happy Spring! Wow...for me the winter seemed to fly by. What happened to February?

While I love the smells of spring and the sight of flowers emerging from the brown of winter, there is one thing I do not like about spring...the shift from boots, turtlenecks and layers to the a-bit-more-revealing wardrobe that accompanies warmer weather. I love winter clothes!! This transition time can be challenging.

For example, I traveled to Lancaster County for the weekend to speak at a writers' conference. Garbed in a turtleneck, vest, jeans and boots, I hit the road. By the time I arrived in Manheim, the temperature was 80 degrees! Seriously. How did that happen? My calves were actually sweating underneath my boots! Fortunately, for me, the next two days were cooler. As a matter of fact, I think it was in the 20s on Sunday morning. Crazy time of year!

Due to my being out of town, the Sabbath was a bit different again this week. I didn't work, but neither did I attend a worship service. It's not something the people I was with do, so I didn't either. After being sick last week, I'm looking forward to getting back in the habit of Sunday worship this coming week.

Not that there wasn't much to worship God for. The conference went well. I met some amazing people, my workshop went well, I gleaned some good tips and....finally put faces to some of you in the GG community. Thank you for taking the time to introduce yourselves! I enjoyed the lunch conversation I was engaged in with a group of ladies discussing green cleaning and the benefits of vinegar, etc. Oh yeah, I was in my element.

I was also blessed by the laughter of the day. It was truly an uplifting conference and I was honored to be part of it.

The conference was not the only highlight of my weekend. My daughter allowed me to take my 29-month-old granddaughter along with me. The lovely little Lady Laura and I had such a delightful time together. She was good for the entire 500 mile roundtrip, never once complaining, whining or being naughty. And guess what, I don't have a DVD player in my car! No, we actually spent the trip talking, singing and telling stories. Hmm. A child can travel without anything electronic. Who knew?

Laura also managed the entire trip without a single accident in her big girl pants. She told me when she needed to stop to go potty on the road and kept dry at night. Can you tell how proud I am of her? And of my daughter and her husband, who are doing an incredible job raising her?

Since I was staying with my 84-year-old mother who recently had a knee replaced, I knew I couldn't leave Laura alone with her all day while I was at the conference, so my sister came in from Binghamton, NY to watch her. They had such a fun time! My niece and her 11-month-old daughter arrived Saturday afternoon and everyone just enjoyed each other...especially the two little ones. When I got back to the house on Saturday, I found four generations gathered in my mother's bathroom, laughing at the antics of the little girls in the tub!

It was a wonderful weekend! Like I said, the Sabbath was a bit unusual, but I didn't work. I played with children, shared a meal with family members I rarely see and then headed back home on the (quite expensive) Pennsylvania turnpike and simply delighted in the wonder of my grandbaby.

Today, as I start off my week, I do it with utter gratefulness in my heart. Life, for me, doesn't get much better than this.

Wishing you a grateful spirit on this first week of spring,

Hana

Grandchildren are the crown of the aged...    Proverbs 17:6a