Today, I'm happy to share the story of two births, written by a friend of mine. Jennifer Cormier is currently a
stay-at-home mom to a 2 year old and a 3 ½ year old. She has experienced much in her very short
life, but her outlook on life has remained positive.In her free time, she blogs about
parenting and her experience with child loss.
She is currently looking forward to embarking on the new adventure of
being a working mom and a move from southwestern Pennsylvania to Staten Island,
New York. You can follow Jenn on her blogs -- Angels & Rainbows -- Jenn's blog on child loss and miscarriage, and Sweetpea Fairie -- Jenn's blog on parenting and life in general.
I am a 32-year-old mother of two beautiful, sweet, caring
little girls. My husband and I cannot have any more children. This is not how
we had planned for our lives. However, life threw us some curve balls. We've
gradually adapted to our life now as parents of two very active little girls.
We consider ourselves very blessed, because both my husband
and I were both told we would never have children. In fact, I was told to not
even try to get pregnant . . . ever. When I was just 24-years-old, I was told
that my body would not allow me to carry a child to term. Because by this time
I had already had three miscarriages. By the time I met my husband, we both
knew, if things worked out between us, we wanted to try to have children of our
own.
About six months before we got married, my then soon-to-be
husband went to have a fertility test done. The results were 99.99% that we
would never have any children of our own naturally. We tried on and off for a
little over a year to have children. In December of 2008, I was feeling sick,
along with being tired most of the time. By my birthday, we were fairly certain
I was pregnant. We were so excited and elated about the thought of being
parents. While I was at work two days later, I began to miscarry. I immediately
called my primary care doctor and left work early. I went home to rest, try to
relax, and let nature take its course. My husband came home early that day, and
held me all weekend long as I cried.
One month later, in January 2009, we took an at home
pregnancy test. It was positive -- I was indeed pregnant. This time, we headed
straight to my doctor who sent us directly to a wonderful OB-GYN. The entire
pregnancy was closely monitored. As the time came near, we went and toured the
hospital where we were going to have our child. While I had a very detailed
birth plan, I can honestly tell you that nothing fully prepared me for the
delivery process.
While I labored at home, I focused all my attention on a picture of my late mother on my dresser, I wound up crying because she would not be there to help me have my child. I looked at my husband's nightstand and saw a picture of his late mother. Trying to relax and breath, I began to feel overwhelmingly alone, despite my husband's constant loving touch. He helped me in and out of the bathtub, up and down while lying down and sitting down. He was my constant, and I surprised him because, despite the amount of pain I was in, I did not swear at all. He told me I could yell at him and scream if I needed to; however, I don't remember doing so. Our oldest daughter's birth is a bit of a blur and a haze as I ended up needing an emergency caesarean. Our oldest daughter’s delivery was not as I had planned or had expected it to be.
Fast forward to early January of 2011, when we are
expecting yet again. This time I wanted to try to have a vaginal birth after a
c-section (VBAC). As the time neared, I started having contractions. However,
they weren’t consistent, so it is chalked up to being Braxton Hicks. The next
day, we headed off to an ultrasound to check on the position of our little one,
only to find out while still experiencing some labor pains, that our sweet
bundle of joy was transverse breech. The ultrasound tech called the doctor to see
about scheduling a c-section that day. However, my OB declined and advised we
set up an appointment with him the first thing the next morning. So I went home
where I continued to experience labor. I lacked an appetite, so I did not eat
much. Every time I did manage to eat anything, my body quickly rejected it. So
I stuck to water and ice chips at home all night long until we headed off to
the OB appointment the next morning.
We were brought in quickly to see our OB, who explained
that he would prefer to wait until the baby's lungs had developed more, perhaps
another 2-3 more weeks. After much discussion, we ultimately agree to have our
little girl that very day. It wound up starting out as a slow admitting
process, but sped up when my contractions became increasingly constant and
steady. Both of my OBs and their intern wound up rushing from lunch to the
Operating Room. My husband was there the entire time, calm and cool as a
cucumber. I remember my youngest daughter's birth more clearly, but bits of it
are still hazy.
I am so thankful for modern medicine, because without it, I
would not be here to tell you my birth stories. I would not be here to be the
mother I am to my very sweet girls. My birth plans didn’t pan out as I had
thought they would. But I was blessed to have two wonderful rainbows after
experiencing more than a lifetime of loss. I wish both my mom and my
mother-in-law would have been in the delivery room to coach me through the
labor process. But my husband and I feel that they both sent us our very sweet
girls. Thank you for reading my birth story and I hope if you've experienced a
pregnancy loss that you, too, will be able to someday have a birth story of
your own.
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