Are you mom enough?

The recent cover of TIME magazine stirred up quite a controversy, as I'm sure was their intention. Even on the Green Grandma Facebook page, the community moms engaged in some disagreements. Everyone seemed to have valid points, despite having differing opinions. 

Perhaps sales have been down for TIME. Perhaps they needed a boost. What better way than to show a defiant-looking young woman, staring down the camera, with a big-for-his-age, 3-year-old practically hanging from her boob. Oh wait, he wasn't exactly hanging, was he. That would require her to have the less-than-perky breasts that those of us who breastfed for any length of time tend to have. But TIME didn't photograph the average breastfeeding mom, did they? Ahhh ... one of the sources of contention for many. I only breastfed my girls for one year, as that was the common practice in the mid-80s. But I can tell you, that if someone had photographed me with my child standing on a chair to reach me, my breasts would not have looked like hers. Most likely, yours wouldn't have either.

Now don't get me wrong ... I'm not judging Jamie Lynn Grumet for having perky breasts. Perhaps I'm just a bit jealous. Actually, I'm not judging Grumet at all. It's the photographer, Vaughan Hannigan, that I have issues with. Apparently, he modeled the shots in the magazine and on the cover after various paintings/statues of Madonna and Child ... and I'm not talking about the pointy-breasted Madonna of Like a Virgin fame. No, I'm referring to the actual Virgin Mary ... that Madonna. And, of course, the toddlers in this article are all supposed to remind us of Jesus. Ummm, no. Mr. Hannigan, you missed the mark. 

First of all, none of the images I've seen of Mary boast that indifferent, seemingly defiant countenance. Granted, I have not seen the rest of the photos, as I haven't had the chance to go to the library to look at the current issue, and I have absolutely no plans to give TIME any of my money. My opinion comes from the tasteless cover, coupled with the tasteless choice Hannigan made to mess around with sacred images. 

The photographer is quoted as saying it is impossible to hold some of these older children as they are nursing. Really? Hmmm. I seem to recall holding my children on my lap well into their teens. I'm pretty sure these moms don't feed their kids while standing. Part of the whole attachment parenting/breastfeeding lifestyle is about nurturing. That is certainly not captured in this cover photo.

The child looks awkward. Look at the picture. Other than mouth-to-nipple contact, the boy is not touching his mother. Give me a break! The set-up for this photo is ridiculous.

And, on a side note, don't you feel sorry for this kid? Here is where I will fault Ms Grumet. What was she thinking?? Doesn't she realize she just opened the door ... wide open ... for her precious child to be bullied for many years to come. I guarantee ... it will happen. Then what will happen to all that nurturing? I'm guessing he just might be a bit peeved on mommy dearest.

Okay, photo aside, let's move on to the title. I don't know whose idea that was, but they should be fired!

ARE YOU MOM ENOUGH?

The cover screams a challenge to all of us who have both children and mammary glands. Seriously? Let the Mommy Wars begin ...

Attachment parenting vs non-attachment parenting (I couldn't find a word for that). Co-sleeping vs non-co-sleeping (I couldn't find a word for that, either). Breastfeeding vs formula feeding (yea! I knew what to call that). Home schooling vs private schooling. Cyber schooling vs public schooling. Vegan diet vs animal protein diet. The list goes on and on, pitting mom against mom. 

That is my main issue with this cover. I really can't comment on the article itself, since I've not read it. It's quite possible that journalist, Kate Pickert, did a fabulous job revealing the true nature of attachment parenting to the curious masses out there. Possible. Maybe, even she was upset by the cover photo and the title. Who knows? I can't blame her. But I do blame TIME magazine for sensationalizing a parenting choice that thousands of moms and dads are making. It's a parenting choice they believe is best for their children. And that is the issue, isn't it? Aren't we all doing what we believe is best for our children and our families? I know I did. My choice was to breastfeed and cloth diaper my girls. They went to public school. They slept in their own rooms. Those were my choices. What about yours? Are you tired of being judged for your choices? Do people's harsh stares or biting words make you weary? Have 'well-meaning' relatives' comments caused you to rethink what you're doing?

Moms ... we need to band together. We need to support each other. We need to stop beating each other up. 

The world is a harsh place at times. Wouldn't it be nice to fall back into the comforting arms of the mom community when you just need a little bit of kindness?

Are you MOM ENOUGH? Absolutely. And you have won the right to wear that badge proudly.

Sharing my pride in you,

Hana